The joy of Christmas – NOT!

For some reason this year, I’m just not in the festive spirit at all. Perhaps it’s because I’m the only person in the office who has to work between Xmas and New Year. Perhaps it’s because I’m beyond skint even though I’m earning MORE money than ever before. Perhaps it’s because it just doesn’t feel like Christmas yet.

This year, I’m being very grown up and my parents are coming to stay. In some respects, it’s great. I don’t have to suffer the long journey on busy motorways or the intense jungle temperature my parents’ flat always seems to be. However, I think that trip back home is what puts me into the Xmas mood with festive songs, dad’s home-made mince pies and the traditional going out and getting very merry on Christmas Eve with my oldest mate, H.

I tried to get into the festive mood last night with a flick through my December mags. The talk of turkey and tinsel was great but I did have to laugh at one feature about what to wear on Christmas Day. I realised then that fashionistas have very different priorities to us ordinary folk. One girl was going to wear an expensive designer ballgown.

For me, I have to think about the practicalities of cooking, lighting a fire, cleaning up – I just don’t think a ball-gown would cut muster in those situations. I’ve finally decided to go against all the advice and wear a very festive shade of red (even if it will make me look like a Christmas decoration) with my favourite – and quite old – 60s style shift dress. It looks stylish but is loose enough to hide the turkey tum in the afternoon. Plus, if I do get goose fat or ash on it, I really won’t care as it cost me the total of £9.99 in H&M. Practical may not be sexy or very fashionable in the office, but in my world it rules

Anyway, to anyone reading this little blog – have a lovely Christmas! I’ll be back on 27th December with tales of my seriously unfashionable day.

I’m making a list, checking it twice…

I really wish I was a kid again sometimes. Not only did you get long summer holidays, but you got all excited about Christmas. This year, I’m finding it really hard to get into the Christmas spirit – bah humbug! – so I’ve decided that maybe writing the old Christmas list may help (and also may give my hubby a few ideas!). Obviously, keeping to the theme of me now working in fashion, I’m going to try and make this as fashionable as I possibly can, but being a geek, I can guarantee it would rank highly on the fashion radar!

Embroidered TopShop jacket (left): Originally I wanted this for my work party, but now it’s become a mission. I’ve been told this jacket would be in stores this week but I’ve yet to see it. And as the fashion team don’t deem me cool enough to talk to, I can’t ask them either, so this is my big wish. Please Santa, bring me this gorgeous jacket!

Miu Miu headband: I’m not usually one for designer products but after purchasing my Marc Jacobs handbag in New York, I think I’m addicted. And really is £55 that much for a headband? Answers on a postcard please!

Anything from Eclectic Eccentricity: This is the coolest jewellery site. Really original, one-off pieces that won’t break the bank but will look truly fabulous. In particular, I love the ‘Meet in the Middle’ and “Pirate King’ necklaces.

Something cashmere: I feel at the age of 34 I really should own something that’s cashmere. I’m really hankering after one of these gorgeous cashmere blankets but for cash-strapped husbands/friends/parents out there, this cute short-sleeved sweater from Uniglo will suffice

Singstar: I am a wannabe popstar and sadly already own nearly all of the Singstar games but I’d love to add the Legends one to my list. Take That! Whitney! Bucks Fizz! Imagine the fun I’ll have…

I've been a really good girl this year (well, almost) so here's hoping Santa puts one of these lovelies in my stocking.

Freebies!

Not only do fashion types seem overly concerned with their appearance, but I’ve learnt they also seem to be very ungrateful, especially when it comes to free presents.

‘Uck! Will you look at this REEE-VOLTING bag’ proclaimed one of the fashion crew today. Expecting to see something made of bright yellow shiny plastic, I was pleasantly surprised to see a lovely silver clutch bag. And what’s more it was leather. Apparently it was too disgusting for words and to make matters worse, no-one had heard of the designer – shock, horror.

I silently tutted in my corner. I was used to the odd freebie in my old job but it was freebie peanuts compared to these guys. Perhaps that’s why most of the pressies don’t cut the muster – they’re spoilt.

It did get me thinking though – what do you do if you receive an awful present this Christmas?

The obvious solution is to bung it on eBay and use the money to buy something you want. Alternatively, why not embody the Christmas spirit and give your item away? Freecycle is a great website that features peoples’ requests and cast-off. And if neither of those take your fancy, why not just wrap it up and give it away to someone next Christmas!

For more tips on dealing with unwanted presents, read the etiquette of unwanted presents on the BBC website.

I love a party with a happy atmosphere

Five things I learnt last night at the office Christmas party…

1. People who say they hate karaoke will always be the one hogging the mic by the end of the night
2. Fashionistas LOVE poring over party photos of themselves the next day commenting on how cute/fat/beautiful they are
3. Not everyone in the office is a shallow fashion type – some are actually very nice and love Kylie as much as I do
4. If you can sing (and in particular if you sing Don’t Stop Me Now) you will stop the party in its track. Open mouths on fashionistas is the best look ever – sweet revenge!
5. Cabbies have always had someone famous in their cab. Last night, it was Howard from Take That

Oh and not sure why I worried so much about the Secret Santa gift. I got a Wonder Woman mug...

A time for giving

I really love Christmas but there are some things associated with the festive season that I really dislike - bad office lunches, cheap mulled wine, having to endure Noel Edmonds on the box on Xmas morning and Secret Santa.

I’ve really never understood this office tradition. Personally, I buy presents for people I know and care about. Picking a random name from a hat and purchasing something under a fiver for them is not my idea of spreading Christmas cheer. Bah humbug to one and all.

This year, it’s even worse. Not only do I not actually know the person I have to buy a present for, but I’m buying for someone who has to be a fashionista (well nearly everyone in this office is). AND I’ve got to get them something for under a fiver – sigh!

What does one buy for a fashionable bod on the cheap? These guys get huge press discounts so buy everything they want. Although I did hear one particularly annoying writer chirping on about how mummy was buying her a Mulberry bag. She is some rich mummy!

Anyway, after fretting about this issue for a while I decided that at the end of the day, the whole premise of Secret Santa is that it’s – um – secret, so if my present is duff, I don’t care.

In the end, I did the thing that every Secret Santa buyer does – head for the fashion mecca that is Urban Outfitters. They have a range of great stocking fillers and cheapie gifts and surely because it’s from UO, it must be slightly fashionable – non? I’ll let you know how said gift went down later this week!

Other great places to try for cute, cheap and quirky gifts are:
ASOS – fab celebrity-tinged gifts for fashion conscious colleagues
Kitsch – cool and kitsch stocking filler ideas
Accessorize – a great range of cheap and cheerful accessories and jewellery
Eclectic Eccentricity – a totally unique range of cheap and unusual jewellery, perfect for the more quirky Secret Santa receiver

Small pleasures

These are five of my guilty – and so not fashionable – pleasures that I indulged in this weekend:

1. Slobbed around in my oldest trackie bottoms and hoodie. American Apparel do the best if you're looking for something new!
2. Enjoyed myself TOO much at a Take That gig – screamed, danced and got a kiss off Jason Orange’s dad
3. Sang along to my Rat Pack and Whitney Houston Christmas CDs while I decorated the tree
4. Indulged in an American’s Next Top Model marathon – why is Nigel Barker a noted photographer? I’ve never heard of him!
5. Ate my body weight in food yesterday – cooked breakfast, roast chicken, treacle pudding… What would my size zero colleagues say?!

Christmas is a time for… not eating

I’ve worked in the media for about eight years now so I’ve seen my share of size zero wannabes but I thought it was all a bit last year and everyone was into being healthy and fit. In fact, I was presently surprised to see that the fashion peeps on the mag were all nice normal sizes and – shock, horror – ate carbs! However, this illusion has now been shattered by the conversation I’ve just proceeded to have in the kitchen.

Mag girl: Wow, Christmas isn’t far away is it?
Me: I know! Have you done all your shopping yet?
Mag girl: Sod the shopping – I’ve only got 26 days to lose this chub (pinches invisible roll of fat). No more rubbish food for me.
Me: So what happens on Christmas Day? Do you start eating rubbish again?
Mag girl: Of course – it’s the fast before the feast

I didn't realise these fashion girls were so darn religious. Feast? Fasting? Next they’ll be sporting Jesus sandals and quoting from the bible.

Now I also realise why Mag girl always shoots me such evil looks when I walk past with my two slices of toast (what - carbs?) WITH peanut butter each morning. I’m such a sinner.

If you do want to lose weight to squeeze into that little black dress - incidentally Miss Selfridge has some gorgeous vintage LBDs - then do it like a normal person! These are my top tips…

1. Don’t gorge yourself on canapés at parties. Just because they’re tiny does not mean that you can stuff double the amount into your mouth.
2. Stick to the bubbles when drinking. Wine and beer have a load more calories - plus the cost of champers may mean you’ll drink less than normal and so consume fewer calories.
3. If all else fails, buy a pair of Spanx. If they’re good enough for the likes of Gwyneth, then they’re good enough for us mortals. And as I learnt on my wedding day, being so heavily constricted by such tough undergarments means you also eat a lot less grub. Double bonus!